Be free-floating, allowing the situation to surround you, and be in it. Take in the full surroundings, including the temperature of the water.
This may bring incredible clarity, presence and focus. This is what is means to be a jellyfish.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Walking on Wednesday ~ My Sudden Insomniac Ways

I am much too old to stay up until 2:30 am and get up at 6:00 am. But that is just what I did Monday night.
Why? Probably one of the most common reasons people cannot sleep. Stress. I had tried to relax after working my 6th day in a row, avoided turning on my computer when I got home. I just watched the boob tube until my brain finally quieted down and I dozed off on the couch. But then ~ midnight rolled around and on my way to bed from the couch it hit me! I HAD SO MUCH TO DO!!

Thus my brain and body said - NO SLEEP FOR YOU. I mindlessly did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, the tried to find my brain and write all of my 'to-do's on the message board. Then I felt compelled to turn on my computer, and I printed off the past 4 months of bank statements and proofed some graphics and worked on my blog. Finally, I forced myself to bed at 2:30 am. 

The alarm going off at 6:00 am hurt. But I got up and did the normal morning rituals, except in a slight dream like state. Before I could get through my coffee, my head drooped onto the dining room table and I was out.


Insomnia (in-SOM-ne-ah) is a common sleep disorder. People who have insomnia have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or both. As a result, they may get too little sleep or have poor-quality sleep. They may not feel refreshed when they wake up. 

I think I am not the common insomniac, as it seems I had no trouble falling asleep on the dining table. I stayed asleep there too, for quite a while. But I certainly did not feel refreshed - neither at 6:00 am nor when I pulled my head out of the puddle of drool on the dining table at 8:30 am. I got up and was in a daze until I forced myself to get ready to meet an artist downtown.  I got through the afternoon just wanting to be home, so when I finally DID get home, and sat down - dozed off again.

By evening, another late dinner, and the pile of clean laundry staring at me to be folded, I realized I neglected to do the majority of the items on my to-do list. Not accomplishing more than HALF of what was on my list. More stress. 


Maybe someday I can experience the days I used to enjoy again. Easy mornings browsing the computer, taking the time to write thoughtful, inspiring things. Taking great pictures to go along with my witty writing. Maybe soon I can sit down and pick the charms and yarns, and get to making Toekini's, then enjoy the sunlight outside while I take pictures of my new Toekini's. I slept good after days like that - and if I didn't, I knew I could take a little time during the day to recover. 

Now-a-days, that luxury is gone. I am at the shop or working on shop stuff for 8 to 10 hours a day, with just one day off. My one day is almost always spent working on something I couldn't get done because I was at the shop the other days. I feel like I am working so hard that sometimes the returns are hard to see.
I know that I was stressed before we opened Blue Rage of Asheville, trying to find a direction and path, but now that I am on that path, I almost wish for those old stressful days where I enjoyed the time with few deadlines, time with the kids doing fun stuff, and most of all sleeping much better than I do now.
Source: matejgrusovnik.com via Jimmy on Pinterest
Of course, then I would miss meeting so many new people, taking pride in what we have accomplished in so little time, and the prospect of successful times to come on our terms, not some big corporation. Perhaps a few nights of difficult sleep is worth it. 

2 comments:

  1. I understand how you feel. When I started my new venture several years ago, I remember not sleeping for a month. It can be very frustrating. I am sure as you have more and more success your mind will relax and sleep will come to you easily. For now do what you can to relax and try to get the rest you need. I love the quote at the end!
    Valerie
    Everyday Inspired

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  2. Gosh, Raige, this sounds really stressful. But I think the comment above probably has some truth to it, though I have never been in either of your shoes -- I'm in new shoes now with a new pup; which is enough, but I have never been a dog person. I know much better cats, and if we weren't alllergic would have opted for one. Training and WALKING and potty stuff is dauntiing! I really feel like have a third child. It's a change or adjustment anyway, to my normal routine, which may have been yours, some time on the computer, get stuff done at my own pace, without a pup st my heels are barking because I'm out of sight. we both need to hang in there. But piece of andvice: good god, don't get into banking stuff after midnight! Dishes is one thing but finances is a sure insomnia lover!

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