It's been one of those days.....Actually, 'one-of-those-days' has dragged out for months for me now.....
But it all hit me yesterday, when I stood in the closet looking at my clothes and could not decide what to wear! I pulled out dresses, then couldn't find a slip, pulled out dresses that didn't need a slip, but they needed ironing, pulled out dress pants, but was SO not in the mood for pin stripes, and then, I had a meltdown.
All the while, my husband having his coffee, frustrating me even more trying to get me into things that just were not comfortable, that I just was not in the mood to wear. All the while he is perplexed as to why I just can't put on one thing and wear it! "See?", he says putting on a tee shirt with holes in it and jeans with bigger holes. "It's easy!" Of course he didn't have to go and open a shop and try to sell things...so of course he didn't have to look nice, professional, and put together. I DID.
Grrrr. Men just don't get it! Some days you just don't know what you want to wear!!
Then I finally settled on jeans and a comfortable shirt, and rushed to the car to go open the shop. My daughter was with me, thankfully, and completely understanding my meltdown (us girls get it!). She turned on the radio and trying to help said, "Here, listen to Katy Perry, (who just happened to be on the radio at the time) it will make you feel better."
Just then Katy sang "You change your mind like a girl changes clothes..."
We both started laughing! "Exactly!!!", we agreed, it's a girl thing! Suddenly I was better.
But it did leave me thinking, does this parallel my life at the moment? Am I going in too many directions that I don't know which one is ME anymore?
Why do I think this? For one, I haven't blogged in 6 weeks! There was a time, not long ago at all, where it was my goal to write and try to make a little $ doing so.
Second, I haven't made Toekini's in just as long, well except for a few...but I haven't been creating regularly! I actually was beginning to make something of the Toekini craze, and I have begun to see success in selling my creations. Why did I let these things go by the wayside??
Well, the shop, of course. But Some days I just wonder if it is all worth it? Can still keep the writing and creating aspects in my life as I had before, and somehow earn enough doing all of it?
I am being told to listen to my intuition, specifically this: This is a time for cutting through the illusion and remembering who you truly are. Dare to Walk your Path, and cultivate the impersonal observer and far-seeing mind within.
I have also been told my intuition is strong right now, but I just can't seem to hear it clearly! I have so much on my plate, so much going on, I am starting to feel like I am hot, then I am cold. I don't know what my intuition is trying to tell me at all, even that seems all over the place, and in a way I am more lost trying to hear it.
So, hot or cold, hot and cold, this is how I am rolling lately. I have decided one thing though, I will get back to blogging. So lucky you - you will get to join me in this all-over-the-place journey. You can be hot and cold with me!
And perhaps my journey will somehow reward me with a livelihood AND satisfaction, all in one. Is that what my gut is telling me? Who knows, but at least I decided on something to wear.