Walking on Wednesday ~ Am I Really Inspiring?

As I mentioned on Monday, my last few months have been filled with feelings of going back and forth with ideas, running 'Hot N Cold' so to speak. One of the few constants I have tried to maintain is running, or at least mixing runs with walking. I even found motivation and groups online to help me through the mornings where it was so hard to get out there and do anything. I tried to share, for me and others, because if it helped me I knew it may help someone else.

That's me in the middle there in the green shirt - asking
"Why is there always a hill at the finish?"

I ran the Shamrock Run back in March, which actually was a very hard race. I felt much more prepared for this race, and was determined to run the entire thing with no walking. Well, I did it, no walking, ran the whole thing, but my time was worse than the Jingle Bell Run, plus I felt worse after the race! My lungs ached, my head ached, and I felt it took me longer to recover from this race. 

Just crossed the finish.
Worse time than the Jingle Bell Run.

The hills were the thing that did me in I believe. Why is there always a hill right at the finish line?? I was so disheartened after the race, it took me over 2 hours before I felt sort of normal again! 

I took a 2 week break from running. No run, no walk, no posting about running, no talking about it, and no motivational things that went with it. I didn't want to bring to anyone's attention I hadn't been running, after so much talk of running and the race and how great it all was, etc, blah blah. Plus, I wondered if people were getting sick of my always talking about running, since I thought most of my friends are not runners and didn't care to see post after post of such things.

MapMyRun app. Love it. 

I started using an app for my phone to track my workouts, once I started back working out again. I could bring my phone and record my runs or walks, and see my progress, see when I needed to step it up, or cool it down. I didn't write about my runs or walks, thinking just posting was enough reference for me. I could see the results, and probably no one else cared. I never thought it was that important to anyone else, and if it was it would be enough to anyone who paid attention. 

I also began much self reflection. I started questioning myself and what I was doing, why I was doing it, and what SHOULD I really be doing. The stresses of earning enough were weighing heavy, and I just felt I was doing something wrong.

Then one of my friends came into the shop (she makes beautiful jewelry that we sell), and she told me she misses seeing my posts about my runs! Huh? I was shocked. I had no idea. She said 'Your posts about running inspired ME to start running!' Now I was really surprised. 

'Me? I INSPIRED you to RUN? And wait - you MISS MY WRITING about runs??' 

Was this a sign? Lately, I have been told many times, in many different ways, to listen to my intuition, to listen to my inner voice. The problem has been - I couldn't understand it! I couldn't hear it clearly!! But now, is this what my intuition was trying to say? 

'Get back to writing, creating, and also grow your business. You can do all these. You can make writing, and creating, part of your business. So use your running to grow yourself and your business - Inspire others with your running and writing.'

Back to the same road
I dreamed of before.
My driveway, the subject
of many posts, inspirations,
and beautiful things.

I like to think that it is what I should be focusing on. After all, it was once a goal of mine to be able to write while earning a bit doing so. I know there is some way I can get more rewards for what I do. And since running is now something I would not give up, I think it makes sense that I use this for inspiration. It has helped me, let me help others. 

I must be able to inspire more people, even if running isn't something they do. I can motivate in many ways, and writing and sharing my pictures may be just what can get me through the lean times.

So I am back here, blogging, writing, sharing, and hopefully inspiring. The rewards will follow, I am sure of it.