Thankful for....My Gray Hair and Wrinkles

Yes. I can say that with confidence - I am thankful for my grey hair and wrinkles.
And slightly large middle section (I call fluffy), and scars.
Most days anyways.

Actually most days I barely think of it.
It is what it is.

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However - yesterday I found out how other people see me.
Well at least one other person.

I was at the hair salon, waiting to get a much needed haircut. I had not taken one bit of time to do anything with my hair that day, so it was a bit wild and and frizzy.

I ended up chatting with someone who I barely knew (met her almost 6 months ago, and hadn't seen her since). We were chatting about, well, hair.
She, I will call her 'D', had just that day decided not to get highlights in her hair, she was letting the grey show, and seemed quite proud of her decision.

D's justification and story about what led her to this point was long, and unecessary in my opinion, but I let her go on.
She was waiting for her 15 year old son to finish getting his hair cut.

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So about when she was done, I let her know I that I understood how she felt, and said I gave up coloring years ago, at the encouragement of my hubby. He hated that I colored my hair, and I finally gave it up.
(Why would you not give it up when your hubby of many years says he thinks you look sexy with that streak of grey going down your right side, like Rogue?)

And I was glad - it became such a hassle.
I colored my hair myself, bought a box and suffered the process: to sit there in an old button down shirt with goop on my head, breathing toxic fumes for 20 minutes and then having it slide down my body in the shower while I wait for the water to run clear.
I could not afford the luxury of paying someone else to do it.
What a relief to stop.

Then D, who was finally at the point to live comfortably with her grey, quite happy about it even, said that were were not so different then, her and I.
And THEN says, "I assume we are about the same age, right?" I mumbled something like 'maybe', not feeling a real connection to this woman, and growing a bit tired of the conversation.
She then blurts out "well I am 59, you are about the same right?"

WHAT THE F$%K?????

I couldn't hide my shock. And probably shot her a pissed off look briefly.
She looks horrified suddenly and says "No?"

I slowly say "Nooooo, I am 47." More than 10 years younger than her, thank you very much.
D was mortified. SO WAS I!

Do I really look more than 10 years older than I am?
F-me.

Now, maybe it is becuase we talked about our kids, and my kids are all older than hers.
D had hers at 44 years old.
I had mine younger.
So based on her perception, me with a 24 year old 'kid', I must have seemed older than I actually am.
Was that it? Or did I simply look older??

Do I look more than 10 years older than I am????
I actually considered asking my hairdresser to add a wee bit of color to the day.


Then it was my turn to get my hair done, and my wonderful friend, who also is my hairdresser, greeted my with a hug and says ' Oh you are so beautiful! What are we doing with your hair today?' She always says that when I see her.
I love her!

One of the previous times I saw her I told her I was wondering if I should cover up some of the grey. She said "NO! Your hair is beautiful, you don't need to color it!".
A hairdresser....not wanting to color your hair.....
She told me everyone is actually coloring their hair to look like mine, which I laughed at and I completely doubted everyone was going for the mousey brown with grey speckles and a clump of grey going down the right side.
She convinced me, well she agreed with hubby so that was 2 people now, saying that my hair color was 'awesome' (her word, says it every time I see her - I love her!), and I should not do a thing with the color.

So, while I am NOT thankful that D chatted with me while I brag about my adult children, and then thinks we are so alike we must be the same age, and that age is fifty frikin nine, I AM THANKFUL for my grey hair, and wrinkles.

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It shows I have lived. I have laughed, I have cried, I have been angry and frowned, been happy and smiled, fallen and got scars and got up and recovered.
I have lived, and I am thankful to be where I am now.

I am a little big in the middle, I have grey hair, I wear glasses. (I suffer from acute nearsightedness - I wear contact lenses usually, but now, in addition, I find reading glasses to be quite helpful for the up close stuff!! I bought a hot pink pair of reading glasses)

I am more than middle aged. But I really don't sweat the looks anymore.
I am what I am. I like french fries and ice cream, and burgers, and pizza.

I am thankful for the ones I love who also don't sweat the looks.
Or maybe have learned to love the looks.
Or maybe they don't see the shortcomings in the looks, maybe they just see....me.

I am so lucky to have those people in my life.
I am so thankful I have lived to get this grey hair, wrinkles, scars, and fluffy middle.

I will also be thankful if I don't see D, who sees me as 59, for a very long time.