Music Monday ~ It's the End of the World As We Know It BUT I Don't Feel Fine

It has been very hard for me to blog lately.
I have started writing, thinking it would be therapeutic, but then it just hurt too much.

It started really with a big life change, a sudden instability, uncertainty in my life.
About 3 weeks ago.
Then, a random terrible thing about 2 weeks ago. (A garbage truck smashed into a parked vehicle of ours in front of our house. Cue fighting with insurance company, about the worst thing to have to do.)
Then a certain uncertainty. My life was truly upended.
I was raw, hurting, lost. I just could not bear even writing about it.
About anything.

Then hubby showed me the news.
Last week it was the environment.
Las Vegas and the grasshopper swarm, Greenland's Ice sheet melting.
Biblical levels of scary shit.
My nerves were fragile. I really could not bear writing.

Then, the shootings.
Last week, California was terrible.

Last Saturday, El Paso was horrific, I was glued to the TV in shock.
I even sent my kids each a message about it because I started worrying they would just be at the store and encounter such senselessness.

Then, slightly recovered when I went to bed, but then wake up to Sunday's monstrous shooting in Dayton.
.
I was on the verge of tears yesterday, seriously questioning:
WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD?
I just can't even write about it now without feeling a sense of hopelessness for this world.
I am terrified for my children.



I started singing this song back when it was just the environment freaking me out.
A slight addition of whimsy to the conversation we were having at the time.
It kept playing in my head for days.

It's the end of the world as we know it

(It's time I had some time alone)

It's the end of the world as we know it

(It's time I had some time alone)

It's the end of the world as we know it

(It's time I had some time alone)

But seriously, it IS the end of the world as we knew it.
This is a different place that I grew up in, a different place that even my kids were born into just 20 years ago.
I didn't have this fear for their future when they were little. 
But I do now. This is a terrible world, where people have ruined the environment, and the culture.

Sorry for this doomsday rant, but this is the toned down version.
I have written this 3 times, stopping when the panic and tears were smashing in.
Today, this toned down version will do.

Source

My hopes are that things will start to improve, all around. I am ever the optimist.
You all know that, if you ever read this blog before or follow me on Facebook.
Always looking for the sun through the clouds, so to speak.
Always seeing the positive, or way through.
But lately, that has been hard. So much hate, so much scary shit, so much to get through.

I am sure I will be back to my motivational self soon. I will be fine.
What choice is there really?
As hubby says, get over it.
He does not like the pessimist me. I can't say I blame him.

Source

So here's to hoping this week sees some positive shit.
Happy Frikin Monday.